How to Handle Unsolicited Parenting Advice

How to Handle Unsolicited Parenting Advice

When it comes to parenting it seems everyone has an opinion. Whether it's from your own mother, your mother-in-law, your next door neighbor, or a complete stranger, as a parent you are likely to receive lots of advice - much of which is not asked for and not wanted.

Many people feel they are experts in the field and therefore, they are ready and willing to give you advice. The problem is, unless you ask for the advice, you probably don’t want it. Even so, most of this advice is given with good intentions – and it is up to you to respond to it in whatever way you see fit.

However, since the advice is given with good intentions, you probably want to respond in a polite way. At the same time, because you don’t want the advice you may feel a bit offended. So how should you handle unsolicited parenting advice?

Public Parenting

Every parent has or will experience a time when their child misbehaves in public. You may be at the grocery store waiting to pay and your child decides to cry because he/she is tired or maybe because you didn’t buy the candy they wanted. This is a perfect time for someone to offer advice about how to help your child calm down.

You could of course let the advisor know that you don’t need any advice – but that could be considered rude. Another way to handle this is to simply thank the well-intentioned person and ask if they have any solutions for another situation, such as how to get your child to sleep through the night, etc. – you may even go as far as asking for their phone number so you can call them if needed. In most cases the advice giver will back off from giving additional parenting tips.

Isn’t He Too Old For That?

Sometimes family members as well as strangers like to help out with parenting advice – but in a subtle way. They may ask if your child is too old for this or shouldn’t she be better at that by now. Rather than being hurt or offended, take control of the conversation. Ask what their experience is with children. If they are not qualified to give advice they may immediately feel regret for asking the question; on the other hand, if they happen to be experts in some way, you may get some free advice that is truly helpful.

Spoiled Rotten

What one parent considers spoiling a child is what another thinks of as being a good parent. Parenting styles differ. If you are accused of spoiling your child you should simply give appreciation for the opinion but feel confident with your own parenting skills and style.

Keep in mind that most people giving parenting advice really do not mean any harm or hurt to you. Responding in kindness and understanding can keep the interaction cordial and in some cases, it may be the best way to build or enhance a relationship.

Debbie Allen is a regular contributor at Package From Santa blogs. She often writes about ways to live a happy and healthy lifestyle – her topics cover everything from craft projects to ways to save money and recipes.